StandUpLibrarian.com is a blog created and operated by me, an out-of-work comedian-librarian looking for my first library job, so there’s bound to be tons of mistakes and lessons learned in this hopefully, hilarious yet heartfelt journey that is known as my complicated and colorful life. Why do it? Well, for some reason, several people seem to think my past stories of heartbreak and failure is funny, so I thought this time I would invite you along for the ride – so get out the popcorn and enjoy!For a bit of an introduction, the following is a little story to help you get caught up on me, and what I have been doing the past ten years…
Once upon a time, Memorial Day weekend 2000, I moved to NYC without a job or any friends, so I went to the library. When I was told by a drunk guy in a bar that PR would be a good career for me, I went to the library. When I got the job but didn't really know how to do PR, I went to the library. When I needed a new job with “greater challenges” AKA I wasn’t getting along with my co-workers, I went to the library. When I got new PR job and was told by drunk co-worker that I was funny and should do stand-up comedy after seeing my impression of our boss, I went to the library. When I was “let go” from PR job and wanted to do one-woman show yet had no idea how to write one, I went to the library. When I got signed by literary agency to write book based on one-woman show, I went to the library. When book didn't sell and I felt like a complete loser after giving up entire life and career in NYC to be a writer, I went to the library. And it was then that the librarian finally said, "You come here a lot and you read tons and tons of books on everything from PR to comedy to writing to overcoming depression, have you ever thought about being a librarian?" I hadn’t but this time I knew the librarian was someone I should actually listen to, especially since she was sober. I graduated in May.
THE BEGINNING.
Yes, I just wrote this stupid story off the cuff - why? Because it is true. I am a firm believer that you can do anything you put your mind to but if you read and utilize your library, you can do it well. I also think it is important not to take career advice from drunk people. My goal in life was always to entertain, which is why even after starting grad school in 2006 to become a librarian, I still moved to Los Angeles to pursue my dream of comedy and acting. While writing thirty-page term papers on the history of libraries in the APA-style, I was also roller skating behind Brad Garrett on “Til’ Death,” serving former PR clients shrimp at the Oscars, and telling jokes to a roomful of LA people not really listening to them. I’ve obviously worked a lot of jobs to make ends meet while pursuing this Masters degree to officially become a librarian so I can then work in a library, and what do you know? The economy is in the crapper and people want to cut library jobs.
Once upon a time, Memorial Day weekend 2000, I moved to NYC without a job or any friends, so I went to the library. When I was told by a drunk guy in a bar that PR would be a good career for me, I went to the library. When I got the job but didn't really know how to do PR, I went to the library. When I needed a new job with “greater challenges” AKA I wasn’t getting along with my co-workers, I went to the library. When I got new PR job and was told by drunk co-worker that I was funny and should do stand-up comedy after seeing my impression of our boss, I went to the library. When I was “let go” from PR job and wanted to do one-woman show yet had no idea how to write one, I went to the library. When I got signed by literary agency to write book based on one-woman show, I went to the library. When book didn't sell and I felt like a complete loser after giving up entire life and career in NYC to be a writer, I went to the library. And it was then that the librarian finally said, "You come here a lot and you read tons and tons of books on everything from PR to comedy to writing to overcoming depression, have you ever thought about being a librarian?" I hadn’t but this time I knew the librarian was someone I should actually listen to, especially since she was sober. I graduated in May.
THE BEGINNING.
Yes, I just wrote this stupid story off the cuff - why? Because it is true. I am a firm believer that you can do anything you put your mind to but if you read and utilize your library, you can do it well. I also think it is important not to take career advice from drunk people. My goal in life was always to entertain, which is why even after starting grad school in 2006 to become a librarian, I still moved to Los Angeles to pursue my dream of comedy and acting. While writing thirty-page term papers on the history of libraries in the APA-style, I was also roller skating behind Brad Garrett on “Til’ Death,” serving former PR clients shrimp at the Oscars, and telling jokes to a roomful of LA people not really listening to them. I’ve obviously worked a lot of jobs to make ends meet while pursuing this Masters degree to officially become a librarian so I can then work in a library, and what do you know? The economy is in the crapper and people want to cut library jobs.
Over these past ten years, I have found that the one place I can truly count on to be there for me is the library. It is a place that offers us anything we could possible want or dream of and actually delivers. So it is here on this blog that I will finally admit my truth - making people laugh is simply not enough for me anymore. Maybe it is because I have lost far too many jobs over it, or maybe it is because I don’t think I was ever really that funny. I mean, they say comedy is subjective (especially to those people you are making fun of) but maybe the truth is that as a librarian I can be put to better use. Who really needs another bitter comic? As a librarian, I may not necessarily have all the answers but I do have the means to get the information, and unlike PR, it is free to anyone who wants it.
A few things I should mention...
“Shhhh” won’t be used on this blog - I didn’t become a librarian to shush you people. I get told to shut up by plenty of folks and I don’t listen to them either.
“So if you are a comedian, tell me a joke” – No. The humor books are in the stacks (817 for American satire & humor, 827 for British humor) if you want guaranteed laughs by people who have “made it” AKA had the right agent to get published. Otherwise, go pay a cover charge and a two-drink minimum at your nearest comedy club where you can also enjoy crappy nachos for ten dollars.
Finally, this blog isn’t just for me, it is also for you - this whole librarian stereotype with the old lady wearing the bun and glasses has got to go. I want you to stand up and take action in your own lives to help me share with the world that libraries are a very cool place to be and shouldn’t be cut in city budgets (besides some of us librarians are pretty fabulous, the rest I hope to help at some point, I mean, why is a chain needed on glasses? Put them on the desk. Pick them back up. Repeat.) In return, I promise to entertain you with my mishaps and adventures along the way to wherever I am going. Right now I have no idea. Just think of me as your own personal comedic reference librarian here to serve you with a variety of information and hopefully, plenty of laughs too.
Now go get that library card!
MM
A few things I should mention...
“Shhhh” won’t be used on this blog - I didn’t become a librarian to shush you people. I get told to shut up by plenty of folks and I don’t listen to them either.
“So if you are a comedian, tell me a joke” – No. The humor books are in the stacks (817 for American satire & humor, 827 for British humor) if you want guaranteed laughs by people who have “made it” AKA had the right agent to get published. Otherwise, go pay a cover charge and a two-drink minimum at your nearest comedy club where you can also enjoy crappy nachos for ten dollars.
Finally, this blog isn’t just for me, it is also for you - this whole librarian stereotype with the old lady wearing the bun and glasses has got to go. I want you to stand up and take action in your own lives to help me share with the world that libraries are a very cool place to be and shouldn’t be cut in city budgets (besides some of us librarians are pretty fabulous, the rest I hope to help at some point, I mean, why is a chain needed on glasses? Put them on the desk. Pick them back up. Repeat.) In return, I promise to entertain you with my mishaps and adventures along the way to wherever I am going. Right now I have no idea. Just think of me as your own personal comedic reference librarian here to serve you with a variety of information and hopefully, plenty of laughs too.
Now go get that library card!
MM
