Without My Computer

On Friday morning, I accidently spilled my morning cappuccino on my laptop and thus began an unplanned holiday from technology.

At first I thought being without my emails, Facebook and Twitter accounts would be fun, but then I realized that I didn't have Google Maps to get directions (yep, I am one of the few in Los Angeles without a GPS, so I went on a sightseeing tour of Brentwood just trying to get to my valet job so I could then spend the whole day driving in circles again!)  I also couldn't look up movie times, so I ended up at a 'Mommie & Me' screening of "Bad Teacher" - wow, talk about a scary movie...and I am not talking about Justin Timberlake's acting.  The baby carriages lining the aisles should have been the giveaway that I was in the wrong theatre but nope.  Like an idiot, it took me a whole fifteen minutes to wonder why the lights were still on and every woman in the room had a baby strapped to her chest.  It is enough to hear the babies screaming but to have to see them as well?  Talk about 3D effects.  Breastfeeding live should not be an extra charge for us single folks!

I also went to the beach, and wore what I thought was a sexy bathing suit with funky cutouts in a bright yellow cheetah print.  One guy seemed into it, until I heard, "Wow, that girl is whiter than I am!"  I went home with no self-esteem and a wicked sunburn resembling a spider web across my stomach.  Thanks Victoria's Secret, maybe you should show that in your catalogue!

The only perk of being without my computer was that I couldn't apply for jobs, which also meant I couldn't be rejected for them either!  Score!  Nope, think again.  I am here at the library checking  my emails for the first time in days and San Franscico Public Library had no problem kicking me while I was down, 'While we have never met you, we don't think so," or something like that.

Being without my computer however, has reminded me of how important libraries are.  If they are open, that is, which they weren't on Sunday and Monday when I actually needed them.  Seriously, where can you use a computer if you don't have a desk job to go to?  The library is the only place!  And yeah sure, they are really slow and usually have a creepy guy drooling at you while you try to write on your librarian blog for the first time in an actual library, but look at the positives.  They are free.  Well, for another six minutes.  The timer at the top of my screen is counting down and then I will be kicked off and can't come back since I already used my two hour time limit for the day.  So this is it. The first time I will  not spell check or include cute photos or font that fits with the theme of the post.  I have no video.  I have just my words.

Thank you library.  For reminding me of the so many things you offer us for free each day.  Although I really would suggest some antibacterial lotion for computer number 14 - that guy was REALLY taking advantage of some of the library's free services!

The Stand-Up Librarian is Born

In Part 4 of "Meredith Hires Herself," Meredith and Meredith discuss their partnership and the mission of StandUpLibrarian.com. Meredith performs her library comedy material for the first time.

***Although inspired in part by true incidents, the following video is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event, even though the actresses look a lot like Meredith Myers and say they are numerous times. The Meredith Myers on stage, however, is the real Meredith Myers. In reality, Meredith Myers is the ultimate professional and takes her job as a librarian very seriously, so any future employers should not let this video effect their decision to hire her. The only thing she is guilty of is having a sense of humor during tough economic times. And yes, parts of this disclaimer was pulled from the "Law & Order" TV show.

For the entire month of June, in celebration of StandUpLibrarian.com being one year old, I have been posting fictional videos of me “hiring myself,” which feature two different Merediths (the librarian and the comedian), being interviewed about their positions with StandUpLibrarian.com.  The video series was always intended to be a spoof of reality TV shows that have over-the-top personalities talking straight to the camera about the people they either work for or are friends with, for the sole purpose of sharing “private” information.  Everyone should know by now that this information is then edited to be even more controversial by the producers of the show, in the hopes of creating some kind of storyline so the viewers continue to tune in. 

It was an idea I had a while ago to incorporate my love of acting and my need to find humor in an economic situation that has prevented me from finding work in a field I have absolute passion for, in a position where I have the necessary qualifications.  Of course, the videos were always going to be risky, since comedy is often subjective, and me playing myself could become confusing to people, especially to those who don’t really know me or perhaps want to hire me.  Is she bipolar?  A drunk?  Or worse. Not funny?  As an artist, I can’t always explain everything all the time, nor do I want to.  For example, in this fourth episode, I purposely edit the comedian character to seem cynical about the library field because most comedians do mock things.  How do you think jokes are born?  However, towards the end of the video, I replay that same clip in its entirety to show that not everything or everyone is what they seem.  After all, editors are the true talent of reality shows.

It has always been my mission with StandUpLibrarian.com to entertain, while educating people about libraries and their importance.  At the same time, I’ve also been trying to show the diversity of the librarians themselves.  Not all librarians wear glasses, nor are they conservative, or look like your grandmother.  Some of us curse, make bad jokes, and even enjoy a glass of wine once in awhile.  So what.  At the end of the day, we are all distinct individuals bringing varied and unique experiences and skills to the reference desk, with the commitment to share information and our love for libraries. 

Unfortunately for me, (and many others), I have been having a heck of a time getting to that paid reference desk due to our poor economy.  So do you think I am going to just sit around, twiddling my thumbs, waiting for it to turn around?  Hell no!  All of us have a responsibility to do what we can RIGHT NOW, or else there won’t be a job, or a library, tomorrow.  So, this blog is MY reference desk.  As is the comedy stage, my You Tube channel, or anywhere I else I choose to go and share information.  Just because I am not speaking to you from behind a reference desk in a library, does not make me any less qualified than those that are.  I say this because I feel like I had to.  Many times I wonder if those looking to hire me come on here and misunderstand my intentions, so let me make it perfectly clear…I may tell jokes but I do not view my six years studying to be a librarian in order to work with other librarians I absolutely admire, the punch line of my jokes.  Enough said.

PJ Walsh "Over There Comedy Is His Best Weapon"

On Thursday night, I had the opportunity to support my friend, Comedian PJ Walsh, at the opening of his one-man show "Over There, Comedy is His Best Weapon," here in Los Angeles at the Hollywood Fringe Festival.

As Head Librarian and Comedian at StandUpLibrarian.com, it is my job to share information that is both hilarious, while educational, and PJ Walsh has always been a funny guy so seeing him perform stand-up comedy is a given.  However, with this one-man show, Walsh DANCES!  And I don't mean the idiotic electric slide, I mean full-on Riverdance and a Windmill!  And as someone who once did a dance show and attempted to breakdance for "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" star Lucinda Dickey, Walsh is awesome!  And then he followed that up with like 20 push ups during the military portion of the show.  Walsh is a maniac (and obviously extremely fit in his white t-shirt...)

But don't just go for the dance moves, the hilarity of his stories, or the heartfelt emotions he shares about losing his friends to war, go because Walsh is living life to the fullest and will inspire you to do the same.  "Over There, Comedy Is His Best Weapon" but right here, it is his TALENT!

For more information about  show dates in Los Angeles and other cities, please visit:

http://overtheresoloshow.com/

**A picture of PJ and I back when he used to open for Larry the Cable Guy.

Go the F**k to Sleep by Adam Mansbach, read by Samuel L. Jackson

Now this is my kind of bedtime story! And to the screaming toddler that lives next door, this blog entry is dedicated to you...GO THE F**K TO SLEEP!!!!!!!

Your Friendly Stand-Up Librarian,
Meredith

*And to anyone thinking of hiring of me, of course I love all children, even the ones who should GO THE F**K TO SLEEP. 

Meredith's First Day!

Have you ever wanted to do something so bad that you got tired of just sitting by the phone waiting for the opportunity to present itself?  Yeah, I didn’t get a call back about “The Amazing Race” either.  Well, anyway, that is how I am feeling about being unemployed in the library field right now.  In my mind, I have done everything I am supposed to in order to get hired, not to mention a whole lot more if you count the hours I spend doing this blog.  You think “Keeping up with the Kar-whatever their names are” is crazy, you should see my life!  I sometimes do my hair curly and straight, and I don’t own those expensive hairpieces or weaves, so you know that takes time.

Anyway, the point is, why should I have to wait for an actual “job offer” to go be a librarian and share information?  After all, the library is free to everyone, so if college kids can drag his or her laptops into the library to study and make out, and parents can drop off their toddlers for free babysitting at story time, why can’t I set up my own reference desk and do my job as a library professional just out of the goodness in my heart?  Sure, I’ll leave the crazies and perverts for the paid professionals to handle, but I think this is very ambitious and entrepreneurial of me, don’t you?  Fine, you’ve got a point.  There’s always going to be people who see it as intrusive or annoying to the staff librarians, but tomatoes, potatoes, people, you can’t please everybody all the time since we all see things differently.  Besides, if I can’t even quote Gershwin correctly, you think I have time to explain this?  I say, “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off,” (located in the stacks around the 780’s), and just get to the video...

In Part 3 of "Meredith Hires Herself," Meredith sends Meredith to the local public library and has her set up her own reference desk in an effort to help patrons.

Although inspired in part by true incidents, the following video is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event, even though the actresses look a lot like Meredith Myers and say they are numerous times. In reality, Meredith Myers is the ultimate professional and takes her job as a librarian very seriously and would never just go set up a fake reference desk and film library patrons without them knowing, so any future employers should not let this video effect their decision to hire her. The only thing she is guilty of is having a sense of humor during tough economic times. And yes, parts of this disclaimer was pulled from the "Law & Order" TV show.

The Meredith Myers Library

It is no secret that I have been very anxious over the past several years to be involved in the library field at some level, which is why I have spent countless hours being an intern and volunteer at various libraries across the country, in anticipation of one day having a paid position on staff.  In hiring myself, it makes complete sense to now open the doors of the Meredith Myers Library!  I mean, who doesn’t want their own library!?!  I am so excited at the thought of using my own personal library to encourage more people to read.  Sure, the mailman seemed about as excited as I was to see that cable bill, but I know he will be back.  After all, it’s his job, so he has too!  And you know what, plummer man?  You are going to read too.  Like a book on how to correctly fix a sink.  

So in Part 2 of "Meredith Hires Herself," Meredith and Meredith discuss the new Meredith Myers Library and what sets this library apart from other libraries…for starters, we have an executive chef!

Although inspired in part by true incidents, the following video is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event, even though the actresses look a lot like Meredith Myers and say they are numerous times. In reality, Meredith Myers is the ultimate professional and takes her job as a librarian very seriously and would never steal office supplies, so any future employers should not let this video affect their decision to hire her. The only thing she is guilty of is having a sense of humor during tough economic times. And yes, parts of this disclaimer was pulled from the "Law & Order" TV show.

Happy One Year Anniversary StandUpLibrarian.com!

So today is the one year anniversary of me creating this blog.  Wow, has it been a year already?  Jeez, who knew?  I DID.  It was a very looooong year, people.  So to celebrate, I decided to hire myself. Yep, that's right, I have a job.  Meredith is working for Meredith.  Sure, I will certainly still explore other offers when the boss isn't looking but please don't tell her.  I really need this job.  Anyway, here's the first video with Meredith and Meredith discussing the new Head Librarian position with StandUpLibrarian.com.  ***A big shout out to my followers who continue to support me after this year of confusion and frustration...

-MM

Although inspired in part by true incidents, the following video is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event, even though the actresses look a lot like Meredith Myers and say they are numerous times.  In reality, Meredith Myers is the ultimate professional and takes her job as a librarian very seriously, so any future employers should not let this video affect their decision to hire her.  The only thing she is guilty of is having a sense of humor during tough economic times.  And y

es, parts of this disclaimer was pulled from the “Law & Order” TV show.