Celebrating MY Independence Day!

Happy Fourth of July everyone! 

Striking my Rosie the Riveter pose...
I DID Do It!

I have so many fireworks going on around me that for once it is hard for me to write because all I want to do is celebrate, celebrate, CELEBRATE!

The biggest thing I am celebrating is something few people know.  It was just one year ago today that I chose to quit drinking in the efforts to focus on what was most important in my life without the distractions that alcohol often brings.  Too many times in the past I allowed alcohol to play a factor in my choices and the consequences of those choices.  I was curious to see what would happen if I eliminated it from my life completely.  Would I finally get a job that I wanted?  Friends that I could count on?  Performances I would be proud of?

Yes, yes, and YES!!!

It was certainly not the easiest year to attempt such an endeavor, which of course, often made my journey that much more difficult and challenging (feel free to read old blog posts if you need to get caught up because I am done talking about them.)  However overcoming those obstacles is what makes the celebrations today that much grander!  I never allowed the bad things that happened to me prevent me from keeping the promises I made to myself.  In the end, I learned I was stronger than I thought and faced the problems with a clear head instead of numbing the pain with avoidance and anger.  I came to understand that the “bad things” or "bad luck" were simply the means to get me out of those unhealthy situations I had somehow got myself in and wouldn’t leave on my own as a result of not being a quitter.  I learned to accept and trust that my new unpaved road with no GPS to guide me was eventually going to take me some place far greater.  And boy, did it ever!

In my time of sobriety from July 4, 2011 – July 4, 2012, I have:

1. Smiled more than ever before knowing that I am finally the person I want to be.

2. Written more regularly on StandUpLibrarian.com than ever before, which means I am ready to finish my book later this year!

3. Performed more comedy shows in 1 year than the prior 9 years combined & was paid for the majority of those shows, wearing clothes I made.

4. Re-launched my purse business & have sold more in the last three months without any promotion than in 2004 – 2005 (even when I was on the cover of the newspaper!?!)

5. Finally attended an Oprah show after 25 years of ticket requests…then met her!

6. Performed a literary comedy show at the ALA national conference.

7. Seen some friends come and go, but now know that it is the very best ones who have stayed & been there during the tougher times.

8. Seen StandUpLibrarian.com go from an idea & blog to a nationally recognized & industry promoted, paid program for libraries.

9. Learned to let go of the past – who I was, who I knew, what I didn’t get.

10. And as of Monday, July 2^nd (just in time to make this list), finally offered a library job with health benefits after two years of applying & interviewing.

People say that, “timing is everything,” “things take time” or “time heals old wounds.”  I don’t know what I believe.  I just know I have always been obsessed with time and dates.  For example, July 4^th was also the anniversary of when I fell in love.  Well, when that relationship ended, I needed to accept it and move on.  He had, so why shouldn’t I? 

So last year while valet parking cars in Malibu wondering why my life was still in the crapper, I decided to apply new meaning to that July 4^th date with one simple decision that would have the potential to both better my professional life & repair my heart at the same time: I declared my independence from alcohol. 

Instead of drowning my sorrows in a glass of wine after not getting a job or going to a bar to throw back a few cocktails with buddies to avoid being alone on a Friday night, I would work on StandUpLibrarian.com or apply for library jobs.  Anytime I felt the need to drink, I would work, volunteer, or write.  

Looking back, it seems to have made all of the difference.

I cannot thank you enough for joining me on this journey.  I am at this point undecided if I will continue with my sobriety experiment or in sharing my personal life on this blog.  All I do know is that I am thankful to have a library job to go with people that I like and respect.  I also really want to finish the book I have been writing on and off for the past couple of years...and do some more library performances…and sell some purses…and record that comedy cd…oh, who am I fooling, I can’t start drinking again; I have too much work to do.

Today, we celebrate this great country we live in because it allows us to be whatever we want to be…then gives us numerous chances to be it!

Happy Independence Day America!

My last drink - a port from a local winery in Temecula, CA.
July 3, 2011

9/11 - Still Fighting 10 Years Later

I woke up this morning to MSNBC replaying their September 11^th media coverage from ten years ago in real time, making me think in my somewhat sleepy haze that it was happening all over again.  It almost stopped my heart at the thought of reliving that awful time full of so much terror and heartbreak.  It was a “Groundhog Day” moment but without the comedy of Bill Murray.  Without giving it much thought, I chose to voice my hatred of the media and their obvious lack of sensitivity to the families and friends of all of the victims of 9/11 (I mean, who would want to experience that all over again?), so I innocently went to my FB to voice my opinion – about the media.  What happened next is an example of how far we have NOT come.

Stand-Up Librarian/Meredith Myers Hey MSNBC, many of us lived 9/11 in NYC, we don't need to replay the entire morning again 10 years later, we know what happened.

Geri Jewell You are a vile, Disgusting person for posting this! I had a family member perish in Tower 2, and I thank God people don't forget. You should be ashamed of yourself, you nasty, insensitive piece of trash! I have copied and pasted this, and will make sure I forward it to every library in California so they know what kind of a person you are, and make sure you NEVER get hired at any of them. (It looks like you're already doing a good job of that on your own!)

Stand-Up Librarian/Meredith Myers Geri, I think you misunderstood what I said. I think memorials and tributes are wonderful but replaying the horrific scenes of the pain we all went through is not a positive image. I was there too. My thoughts are with your family and friends.

It is terrible that ten years later we are still having problems communicating with each other about these horrific events.  Just because I choose not to relive the past via video footage of the innocent people we have lost doesn’t mean that I don’t think it is healthy to remember and honor those people.  It just means I think it is far more important to use those memories to encourage action so that terrible things like 9/11 don’t repeat themselves.  I believe in making positive changes for a better future by taking responsibility for our actions and living each day to the fullest.  Too many people get caught up in things we cannot change instead of focusing on the things we can.

I don’t know what makes me more sad at this FB posting with Geri - seeing her pain and poor projection of it at me, or that she is continuing the anger and hatred that started this whole mess in the first place.  We were bombed in NYC because terrorists hated America.  There was no opportunity for a peaceful discussion or a clarification of why this hatred existed so we could possibly prevent it.  We were simply left with adjusting to the results - innocent lives that we will never get back. 

It is via this opportunity at communication that I’ve decided to repost your FB attack on me, Geri - not to embarrass you, but so you can experience what I deal on a daily basis by choosing to speak my mind in a public forum, opening myself up to verbal attacks on my character without justification.  You weren’t even a ‘Friend’ on my Facebook but chose to friend me so you could then attack and threaten me.  Sounds like a ton of energy that could have been better utilized by volunteering at your local library or reading to kids.  You know, things I do with my time.

One sentence shouldn’t be enough of a reason for anyone to make it a personal mission to ruin anyone else’s life, especially one you didn’t choose to clarify before going on a hurtful rant (FYI, maybe you should work in the media, they rarely fact check either.)  Trust me Geri, I don’t need your help in not getting a job, I’ve got plenty of things going against me – honesty, integrity, and something called courage.  I have no problem standing up to bullies who try to put other people down.  I openly admit my faults and mistakes in the hopes others will now know better.  And voicing my opinions?  That’s not ego, that’s America, baby.  Freedom of speech.  You don’t always have to agree with it, but in this country, we have a right to say it.

I also allow myself to be vulnerable to people I don’t even know and who obviously don’t know me (or read my blog regularly.)  I also am insulted, misunderstood, and maybe if I am lucky, “Liked” with a lame thumbs-up symbol – all for free.  That’s not “vile,” that is BRAVE.  Your words hurt me Geri, but I can take it because on September 11^th, 2001, I was a New Yorker who survived the devastation of 9/11 and chose not take it for granted but instead change my life for the better by quitting my very cushy VIP PR job so I could eventually become a librarian to help people better themselves.  It has been a long, hard road these last ten years, but at least I have the COURAGE to put myself out there to use my second chance at life to mean something.  I am not the enemy Geri, so please don’t call me trash.  What I am is recycled material that is going to be around for a very long time so either get onboard or get out of my way.  I’m AMERICA baby, and no matter how many times people try to strike us down, we aren’t going anywhere…